The Strength in Surrender

“You don’t have to figure it all out, you don’t even have to be ready, you just have to trust yourself enough to take the first step.” – Kristin Lohr

As you know, in January I am packing my bags and heading off to New Zealand on my own for a while – months, a couple of years… I don’t yet know.  This has been a huge decision for me.

Although I know unequivocally in my heart that this is the right thing for me, that doesn’t mean that part of me isn’t afraid.  I have a one-way ticket and a week’s accommodation, and other than that I literally don’t know what is going to happen.  Over the last couple of weeks I have gone back and forth between a serenity that comes from absolute knowing that I am going to be OK and that this is going to be one of the best, most epic things I will do with my life, and panic about the unknown.

A few months back (before I had made any definite decisions) the above quote from Kristin Lohr popped up in my Instagram feed, and I knew then that I just had to leap.  I was finally ready to leap and put ALL my faith into the Universe over this.  But, it hasn’t just been a case of taking the plunge, buying a ticket and jetting off the next day.

Throughout this period of finishing off in my job and earning a bit of extra money to cushion my first couple of months over there, it is a continuous process of returning to faith. Every time my thoughts turn fearful, I breathe and remember what my heart is telling me. I know that I will be looked after, provided for and presented with wonderful experiences by the Universe.

Reading #HigherSelfie by Lucy Sheridan and Jo Westwood over the summer taught me the importance of surrendering, and how the strongest thing you can do is to calmly and fully open yourself up to what the Universe is offering you.  As someone with a chronic case of future-tripping (from daydreaming good scenarios to fearfully anticipating what could come), I realised that I needed to stop fighting for control of the reigns, trust my gut and work in partnership with the Universe. After all, what the Universe/God wants for me is the same as what I want for myself: happiness, love, and to make a positive difference in the world. (To me, the Universe is God).

Surrendering isn’t weakness, it is the ultimate act of strength. Whatever I can imagine for my life, the Universe can do better.  The Universe will speak to me through my gut and my heart, and I have made a pact with myself that in New Zealand I will only do what feels right – because this will lead me to where I am truly supposed to be going, not what I think I should be doing.

Watch this space… There is a whole new exciting adventure to come!



Published by Alexandra Payne

Wonder-seeking wanderer sharing my unfolding journey of living life consciously.

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