“I want to see mountains again, Gandalf…”

So, a week and a half ago I finished my job in the pastoral support team in a secondary school.  Now, I am on the final countdown to New Zealand.  As I said before (read it here), I feel a little daunted and anxious about the prospect of ‘entering the unknown’, but mostly I feel incredibly excited and comforted – comforted, because I know that this is what I am supposed to be doing.  All that time I dreamt of freedom and adventure, and now I am finally doing it.

I am trying not to create too much of a picture of what could happen when I get to New Zealand, and instead I am trying to focus on how I want to feel… Happy, relaxed, confident, surrounded by friends I share interests with, and open to whatever life over there has to show me.

The title of this article is actually a quote from The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring movie, when Bilbo Baggins is sitting in his kitchen and speaks of his deep soul desire to go exploring again.  It is appropriate for many reasons (and as a LOTR nut I cannot wait to explore more of the film locations in New Zealand), but mainly because I do want to see mountains again.

I want to see the natural grandeur and magnificence of that land again. I want to feel the raw, potent, incredible magic of the place.  I want to explore New Zealand and, whilst I am there, I want to explore the figurative mountains and forests – the wild places – of my mind.

When I say wild places, I mean that I want to rediscover the parts of me that I have forgotten, or discover new depths of me. I want to take my authenticity to a whole new level and get to know me in my entirety. I want to examine behaviour and thought patterns that no longer serve, and I want to unlearn the aspects of social conditioning that do not benefit me or my happiness.

I’ll be my own prince wandering the wild places, searching for my princess (read: higher, more empowered self) within, where she waits for me to learn and discover all I need to in order to reunite with her.  But, rather than being a prince encased in armour, I will be shedding that armour, ready to lead a heart-centred life.

This is going to be an adventure, indeed, and on many levels!. I hope you stick with me. Who knows what magic we’ll find within?

Much love,



Can you spot Treebeard? Aha!



4 thoughts on ““I want to see mountains again, Gandalf…”

  1. What an example you set for us all. How many of us would like to do just what you are doing, if only we were brave enough! The world is your oyster, take everything that life has to offer with both hands. Who knows what wonders await you. You deserve to enjoy every minute, every hour, every day because you, my granddaughter, are so special. Bless you. X

    Liked by 1 person

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